"I Love It When You Call Me Big Poppa"

In the words of Biggie Smallz, "I love it when you call me Big Poppa". In the words of the Pointer Sisters, "I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it". That sounded dorky. Oh well. I am excited! Excited that I will soon be a Big Poppa! That is right. After years of waiting, it looks as if it may come true. Let me bring you up to speed.

This may be too much information, but everyone asks anyway, so....Sarah and I have wanted children for about four years now. After a year of no success, we consulted her doctor. We discovered there was something causing Sarah's body to not hold the egg. It involved an easy fix that only took a couple months and then we were off to the races again. After six months of still no success, we made several (5) attempts at artificial insemination. Still no success. This brought us to the crossroads of what to do next. We could try in vetro, which is costly, but would hopefully allow us to have a child biologically. The risk is that there is no guarantee. If it worked, great! If it did not, we are left with nothing...literally, nothing as the procedure would cost around $10K. The other option would be adoption. The cost would be, comparable to in vetro or higher, yet there was more of a guarantee...so we thought.

I have always wanted to adopt. I have always wanted to do my small part to help God's children and felt it was the right thing to do...even if we could have our children biologically. Of course, I would not be the person missing out on carrying the child and the experience that comes with child birth. This decision to adopt was a more difficult conclusion for Sarah to come to...naturally. Especially due to the fact that the doctors had found nothing wrong with either of us....just inexplainable infertility. After much thought, Sarah decided adoption was the way we should go this time around. We immediately signed up with an agency that we could trust and began the process.

The adoption approval process was less than fun for us, but we eventually came out alive and approved to adopt a child. The waiting game begins.....and continues....and continues....no results. We have been less than impressed with the agency we decided to work with, but understand there are circumstances beyond our control and to a great extent, beyond their control. Don't get me wrong, I believe they could do better, but it is always easy to criticize. I am certain they do a lot of good. None the less, on the 4th of June, our good friends, Tim and Casey VanBuskirk, offered another direction. They had met some wonderful people, Liisa and Matt, who were adoptive parents and were visiting their ward. Matt and Liisa's encouraging words to our friends were strong enough to cause Casey to contact us and share the enthusiasm they felt from Matt and Liisa.

I contacted Liisa and had an insightful conversation; one that offered much hope. Sarah and I then spoke to Rosa from the agency Liisa suggested on June 6th. Rosa was so friendly. We felt 100x's more hope in the 20 minute conversation than we have ever felt previously. By June 11th, they had found us a birth mother we could potentially work with. We had the great privilege to meet Nicole (the birth mother) yesterday on a conference call It was an uncomfortable scenario, but I think we were able to speak freely with her. How do you communicate to someone on a static filled phone call how excited you are to love their child? How do you help someone to know and feel comfortable with you in 20 minutes? This is one of the most stressful things I have done in my life. Sarah is so easy to love as she is so gentle and meek and loving. Nicole sounds like a very mature and responsible adult. We love her so much for even considering us as parents to her son (who is due October 27th). About 20 minutes after speaking to her, her case worker contacted us and gave us the news that she would like to place her child in our care!

Nicole has made us soooo happy. I am not one for sappiness. I am pretty cool, calm and collected when it comes to emotions "out loud", but I am so very excited and I just can't hide it. Nicole is currently in Wisconsin and we will make a trip out to visit her sometime before she is due. We will have weekly conversations with her so she can feel more comfortable with her decision. We also hope to learn more about her so that we can pass the information along to her child who will become our child. Adoption is an interesting concept, but a concept I have always admired. I have always understood that our sons and daughters are really our brothers and sisters and that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. These children, whether biological or otherwise, have been placed with us on loan to rear and care for until the time we leave this big blue marble. Christ is a literal example of this divine concept, as he is the literal offspring of God, yet was raised by Joseph, his adoptive father. We will love this child so much. I am happy (and stressed) at the thought of it.

We are so grateful for Tim and Casey, Matt and Liisa, Rosa, Jenn, Flossie and especially Nicole for making this happen. We are also very grateful for the many, many, many friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc, who have included us and our goal of beginning a family in their thoughts and prayers. We are thankful for our friends who have adopted before us; Eric and Natalie and Gary and Allison. They have been a strength and example for us. We are approaching this with guarded optimism. There is always a chance something can go wrong, so please continue to keep us in your prayers. We will update you as we learn more and approach the goal of October 27th.

Wow. That is a whole year of sappiness in just one blog! I promise I will back off the throttle for a bit. Ciao!