This Is Who I Am

Dr. Charles Eastman ~ Ohiyesa

This morning I watched the movie, "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee". This is an HBO movie based on the book by the same name. It is set during the American Indian conflict with the Sioux; beginning with the Battle at Little Big Horn and ending with the death of Sitting Bull. During this time it also follows a young Sioux warrior, Charles Eastman's assimilation into Christian and white American culture. It allows you inside the struggle he experiences while trying to balance his heart's allegiance to his people and their ancient way of life while trying to advance his people and secure their existence by using the white man's political system that is evident to remain.

As I watched this movie, I, as is often the case, was moved to thoughts of sadness as I observed the betrayal and manipulation of this great and noble people. I also gained a different understanding of the struggle that I never before considered. Just about everyone who knows me, knows I am of Scottish decent on my Mother's side. This is not difficult to identify as it is safely assumed once you see me in my kilt. I have always embraced my heritage and wish that everyone else did the same. I am also equally proud of my heritage on my Father's side; the not so obvious side of my genetic make-up. My Father is American Indian. While I am quite proud of this, it is not as apparent as I am not as inclined to wear a feather or a choker as I am to wear a kilt. I do have a tattoo on my ankle of American Indian deity most commonly seen in pictographs and petroglyphs.

Dear Old Dad

I am American Indian. My Dad has always embraced this and does more so now as he grows older and tries to figure things out. He has always preferred to sit on the floor or not wear shoes or sport a pierced ear and dismisses it as, "This is what my people do". Although those comments have yielded many chuckles from me and my brothers, I have always been proud to know this about me, my Father and my ancestors. Unfortunately, we have been unable to obtain a role number from the Nation, each of us know who we are and what blood runs through our veins. It seems, while each of the Trospers are proud of their heritage, a few generations back didn't feel quite the same. They denounced their lineage and purposely did not register with the Nation, probably to avoid ridicule or persecution. None the less, I know who I am and that is enough for me.

I had the privilege to serve much of my mission on or around reservations in British Columbia. It was fun to bring the gospel to them as I felt a certain kinship with them. I know many whites like to consider their miniscule Native American Heritage as some kind of novelty topic of discussion. I hope my mention of my heritage to my brothers and sisters in BC was not received with annoyance. I truly loved serving them and am pleased to be associated with them. I did witness things while serving there that depressed me and continue to witness disappointing things concerning different Indian Nations today such as dependence, irresponsibility, lack of accountability, laziness, etc. I am so grateful for some of the wonderful people I met who tried so hard to combat these stereotypes with hard work and education.

We don't know much about our family history. Again, my ancestors apparently desired to bury their origins and the Native Americans are not well know for record keeping or documentation. They typically shared their ancestry via stories, dances and song. In my life I have met several other Trospers outside my small family circle. The interesting thing is that the surname "Trosper" is of German/Austrian origin, but every Trosper I have met is American Indian. Even more interesting is the fact that they all hail from different tribes or nations such as Choctaw, Cherokee, Shoshone, Ute or Navajo. My family is Cherokee. Apparently there was a German dude who traveled through the different nations and became acquainted with several squaws!

As I watched the movie, it once again sickened me to watch how the government broke the spirit of this once greatly spirited group. After several attempts to defeat them by means of assimilation, reservation confinement, dependence and even genocide, they eventually succeeded to only stifle the culture and somehow sweep it all under the rug. I have heard it said that history is determined by those who write it. It is obvious who wrote this history, but as time drags on we learn more and more of what really occurred. I am a proud American and happy to know that the majority of my nation's history is something I can be proud of. I understand that the mishandling or mismanagement of my native ancestors is simply a small stain on an otherwise righteous tapestry.

I mentioned at the beginning of this rant that I gained from this movie a new perspective regarding the Indian Wars. It occurred when Sitting Bull sat with Col. Nelson Miles to discuss the pending battle between the Sioux band and the American Army. The dialogue went as follows:

Sitting Bull: You must take the army out of our lands.
Col. Nelson Miles: What precisely are your lands?
SB: These are the lands where my people lived before you whites first came.
NM: I don't understand. We whites were not your first enemies. Why don't you demand back the land in Minnesota where the Chippewa and others forced you from years before?
SB: The Black Hills are a sacred land given to my people by Wakan Tanka (Great Spirit).
NM: How very convenient to cloak your claims in spiritualism. And what would you say to the Mormons and others who believe that their God has given to them Indian lands in the West?
SB: I would say they should listen to Wakan Tanka.
NM: No matter what your legends say, you didn't sprout from the plains like the spring grasses. And you didn't coalesce out of them either. You came out of the Minnesota woodlands armed to the teeth and set upon your fellow man. You massacred the Kiowa, the Omaha, the Ponca, the Oto and the Pawnee without mercy. And yet you claim the Black Hills as a private preserve bequeathed to you by the Great Spirit.
SB: And who gave us the guns and powder to kill our enemies? And who traded weapons to the Chippewa and others who drove us from our home?
NM: Chief Sitting Bull, the proposition that you were a peaceable people before the appearance of the white man is the most fanciful legend of all. You were killing each other for hundreds of moons before the first white stepped foot on this continent. You conquered those tribes, lusting for their game and their lands, just as we have now conquered you for no less noble a cause.

I never considered the US to be simply a tribe conquering other tribes. I guess with this point of view, the US is no more in the wrong than the Sioux or the Apache, the Utes or any other tribe that attempted to conquer other tribes. Two wrongs don't make a right. None the less, it makes you think. Now I am really confused! I guess the facts remain the same in my heart. I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be a Native American. I am proud to be a Scot. I am not proud of my country's dealing with the indigenous people of North America. Where was I going with all this anyway?! Oh yeah! Watch the movie! It is a good one!